the unfolding of you …

You arrived…walls up…dukes up and armed with words to defend and protect yourself…

We saw your heart the first day we met you and that is the YOU that we sought to unfold…

From that very first day, we embraced you and sought to undo all that you had come to believe about yourself … All of the negatives fed to you that you had eaten without question … That you had come to own as truth

Your defensive words and loudness left us loving you more..we fed you words of encouragement and of love…we met you where you were and challenged you… We empowered you and you rose to meet us…

You were surrounded by friends that showed you that no matter what… they accepted you…and enjoyed you…

You grew comfortable in your new skin… The one that accepted hugs… that embraced you that is compassionate…you that began to breathe your strong and loving self that always had the opportunity to turn it around…

We rallied for this new you and reminded you that what was old had passed away, was no longer truth about you… You inhaled and exhaled knowing we had your back and you were loved…no matter what…

May you move forward with ownership of your love and compassion … Forgiving yourself in troubled moments and not motioning in any way to reclaim what was once breathed over you as someone else’s idea of your truth.. Continue to grow in your kindness and power of YOU that we have all come to see…and that we have all come to love…

knowing…the long story…and the short

You are a firecracker…lit the moment your beautiful coffee brown self was placed in your loving mamas arms on the day you were born

You were three when we met… going on fifteen…you enter a room with presence…

Your knowledge so vast for your small frame…I wonder how you hold it all without falling over…so many volumes already written in your memory

You are just one year older now…since I have known you…and I have come to know you well…synchronized…your moods recognizable

Such a joy to always see your raised hand …anticipation to answer…and more…to grow us with what you know beyond that

We sometimes shake our heads…your teachers…and your mama too…I have seen it…in awe of your shining brilliance that you know not yet the full magnitude of…

I’m grateful for you in my heart… You have blessed me so…challenged my humor…and brought forth in me the desire to hear both the long and the short version of the story before I decide which will feel just right…

…my birthday present

I am enjoying the quiet place… Verse continues to flow with ease…poetic expression birthed out of my passion for teaching, an affirmation that my heart is in the right place. A welcomed head nod to my questioning soul… comfortable place to be…this place I am in. For some time I shall resonate in this safety…inside of me. Patient with myself…ready to put in words the ordered thoughts as they come…

the following is for my birthday present, a child from my preschool who was born on my birthday…and we found one another he and I … I his teacher… and he…surely mine!

…my birthday present

things that most dream of … You own in your heart
big dreams of someday…you wear those comfortably like your favorite tee shirt… soft against your skin…truly a part of you

You arrive each day craving to know more…and to share more…of what you already know…with all of us

Your mind gets busy, thinking, creating, sorting and developing your amazing ideas…

sometimes I look closely at your intense thought…and I see myself in your eyes…in that thinking place…where we can feel so alone in the moment

emotion can be overwhelming…you feel so deeply and thoughtfully that sometimes it spills out and others don’t always understand your compassion…quite like you feel it

You are amazing and strong and captivatingly brilliant…you will surely venture to space…to the depths of the deepest sea…the Mariana Trench awaits

be kind to you … covet humbleness…align yourself with grace and mercy… they will be good to you

remember in your heart that you are
So important… So intelligent … So loved… You are the only YOU there is…

and to me…you’ll always be… my birthday present!

…to know you

I have been trying to pay some mind to the reel of thoughts that have been spooling from deep inside my ADHD self of late…searching for paper to jot it before it is lost or muddled with the next thought. In my attempt to be mindful and quiet externally, internally my mind is speaking rather loudly.

I am a teacher… It is a preschoolers last day… here is a clip from my reel to capture the joy she has been to grow with…

it was picture day…
you were fabulous…
your sweet true heart revealed through my lens that day… though we had just met…

a twirling dance…
marching band…
arm poised…knees snapping up and down in unison
as you lead

a strong commanding voice that can quiet to a suspenseful hush…
eyes light up and dance as a story is shared with friends…
leaning close to soak in the magic…
as your own imagination exhales into others

a delightful balance …
so pleased exploring and learning …
finding yourself…

humble to reach out…
embracing others …
as you share the beautiful YOU you are growing to be…

…treasures

Cool breeze that makes
the curtains dance
on a summer night…

The welling up of love
that drives tears to your eyes
before you notice…

The urge to dive back into
the middle of a fantastic book
on a rainy afternoon…

The quiet hope of a still…
starry night when a whisper
carries your precious prayers
straight into God’s heart…

It’s a friends birthday… Words spill from my mind like delicious sun tea on a summer afternoon. I wanted to capture the joy in my heart for a friend like her…likening that joy to tangible memories that make you feel so full that you might just burst …

…my one thousand; and learning I am enough

I picked up a new book yesterday at church… One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. IMG_1067

Although it was Fathers Day, we showered daddy with love and sentiments early and settled in for a relaxing afternoon. I opened my book and began. I read in the kitchen and on the porch, and in the living room. I dozed a bit… Ran out to the market, made dinner and read some more. Then I made a decision, one of several pretty monumental ones for my weekend I must say. I went on a search; I somehow knew right where it was, at least my heart did. A beautifully woven ribbon journal… Perfect for my journey. You see part of being me is the feeling of not enough… I didn’t do enough, say enough, think ahead enough, and so forth. A brave friend of mine summed it up so dearly when she said, “I am so sorry that your ‘not enough’ button got pushed so intensely.” And that’s what it was… Circumstances and specifics aside, that is exactly what had happened… All of my passion and work that I poured out at the close of our school year suddenly disappeared like a wisp of smoke as a candle is blown out.

My Martha self took charge and flooded my brain with memories of my ‘not enough’ moments. I spiraled a while and hung out there… In the muck…and sadness. And then I decided to write those moments down. I worked fast and furious typing out any moment I have told myself I just wasn’t enough. They began shortly after I was born and continue into my adult life. This was a painful but necessary process and my initial intention was to share those in a post. And then I found the book… And my journey took a different course. God knew all along where He was bringing me.
I kissed and hugged my husband and littles, despite my children’s protest at my departure, off I went to my overnight shift. I arrived a few minutes early so I squeezed in another page and a half already silently compiling a list in my head and in my heart to get the ball rolling.

It took a while to settle my overnight charges and before I knew it I was gliding on ink skates across my pages pouring out an introduction to my journey and what ended up being the first twenty six items on my list of a thousand…I had a hard time falling asleep with so many things dancing in my head …in the wings…awaiting their debut. I was soon up to rescue my dear charge who had tipped herself out of the electric recliner and onto the floor…I prayed fervently for the strength to pick her back up and after the fifth try or so she was safe and sound back in the chair and settled for a quick snooze before waking for the day. It was almost four am as I sat next to her, my hand holding hers in reassurance that I was right there… It was an ‘ I AM enough’ moment… One rewarded with what will end up becoming number 27 on my list. I call it the quartet at four…the sun was begging for a few more moments of rest as the moon demanded its night was done…it was the groggy crossover from night… To dawn. The birds began their serenade…

As the book dares, I have begun the list of a thousand things I love and in naming those things, I will be filled with enough … Enough love and enough joy and by claiming that… I will be certain in my heart that I, myself, will be more than enough!